Lordy Lordy

what? I brought presents. Drunk Angelina with a white tank top (look! you can see nips) and a really yummy looking cake. Wow that looks good. mmmm...


the cake, I mean.

Please watch Friday Night Lights

Thank you.









what? he has very little to do with why I like the show. Well okay. Not VERY little but I'd like the show even if this gorgeous specimen wasn't on it. No. Really. I would. It's a very good show.

Scratching scabs

I’m trying to clear everything up. I have such trouble getting past hurt and letdown. I’m trying to see clearly. My life isn’t that bad! It’s a pretty good life. You know? I feel more loved by one single person than I have ever felt by everybody else that has ever entered my life combined. He may not have the best ways of showing it all the time but it’s always there. If we have to ride a rollercoaster for a few years in the beginning to get to where we want to be at the end, then, wow… what more can I ask for?

For the last couple months I have been surrounded by people who… hmm… I don’t know how to explain them. This positive energy surrounds them and you can feel it in their voices and in their words. I feel myself healing just knowing people like that exist.

You know when you have a scratch and the scab starts itching during the healing process? When the wound is so anxious to heal that it gets itchy? That’s how I feel right now. That’s how I’ve felt for a couple months. I’m so anxious and impatient about the waiting, about the healing, that it starts itching. But you have to be careful when you scratch a scab because if you rip it off, it just takes longer to heal. And it bleeds a lot more.

I get depressed. Then I feel bad that I’m depressed. I’m surrounded by love in my home. I know it’s there. I can feel it when I let myself. So then I get more depressed that I don’t just let myself soak that in often enough. But I don’t know how to just let myself be okay. I don’t know how to let myself heal. I’m always ripping off the scab.

I love this email

I was looking through some quotes today. Bored. Anti-social. Then I got an email. I usually hate getting emails over and over again but I think this one was exactly what I needed today. The ones I like most (though that's a tough one - they'd probably change every day) are colored blue. And the last one is priceless and makes me cry. Kids can be pretty okay sometimes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

New Favorite Driver

I've always liked Ryan Newman to an extent. But this makes me love him very much. I did not know this before. I have a google alert set for my Ryan and I always get Nolan Ryan, Jeri Ryan, Ryan Newman news. Not to mention anything (not really anything but it gets irritating) with the word "star" in it. If anybody knows how I can fix this, let me know. thanks.

Sorry Jr. I still love you.