Maybe there is only after

 I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m fumbling through everything right now. I hate my job. That’s not new but it’s worse now. I’m done. It takes everything in me to even log into my computer. I’m messy with my money. I’m supposed to be saving money but it’s not happening. One thing I know for sure… the only thing I know is that I want him. I’m not ready to say I’m in love with him but I do like him. I enjoy every moment I get with him. The past couple months he has given me a lot of moments. Maybe we will only ever be friends. Maybe that’s perfectly okay. But I find myself romanticizing what is happening. Even still, anyone else is cancelled.